There have been many times that I question:
Why did I even bother coming? People don’t get better and death is
inevitable. I am trying to remember that
without us, this would all be happening and probably with less compassion and
attention. The life expectancy of
Zambian people is far from changing, but what is important is that during their
short lives, illness, and final hours, they experience compassion, love,
sympathy, and respect. I think for some it will be the first time in their
lives. I know our presence is invaluable to them. We never actually know how
meaningful our actions are, perhaps the families saw how much we cared and were
so touched that they better dealt with grief, or maybe we have inspired someone
here to be a more compassionate nurse. So I am going to embrace the joy,
embrace the sadness, let myself feel everything and let myself be human.
Knowing it’s okay to be weak, it’s okay to
feel helpless, and it’s okay to feel sorrow. These things make me stronger and
wiser and enhance all the things I am now. These experiences will not make
experiences down the road trivial; they will just remind me that regardless of
what I am going through, I will survive.
This experience has given me a life-check
to truly remember what is important. Not the material things, but how lucky we
are to be born in Canada and not in grueling poverty. We have premium healthcare
even when we think we don’t. We have the
opportunity to be anything we want. We don’t have to fight for our lives
everyday and we have everything we need at our fingertips.
I am learning many lessons that I will
never forget. This experience has been invaluable and I am so thankful for
every single moment of it.
Susie
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